Life is Short - my realisation

It’s taken me several years to get around to writing my first blog post having thought about it for so long; and in fact it took only a few minutes sitting in my bedroom one day to just DO IT. And so I did. And here I am.

To blog and record the life of a travelling mid-40 year old female who almost died several years ago from Guillain Barre Syndrome; who has seen friends depart this Earth and friends currently suffering with terrible illnesses. It makes you think doesn’t it? How long do I have left? Well, I’m going to MaxOutLife as much as possible (but within reason bearing in mind I have three children to take care of) and have no, or at least very few, regrets when my time comes.

Prior to March 2018, I'd led a fairly cautious and conservative life (ignoring the craziness of my teens and early twenties when I was invincible of course). I had a good job as a lawyer in the city, a stable marriage and three  (most of the time) lovely children. I'd spent the last year learning how to walk again having had my ankle surgically fused due to a congenital talocalcaneal coalition which only became apparent in my late twenties. My last physiotherapy appointment took place on the Monday and I was in a good place.

The following Saturday I awoke at 5am to some numbness in my hands and feet. I'm rarely ill and I'm pretty tuned into my body so by 9am I knew something was seriously off. Having called 111 and waited for another hour for a call back, I became unable to pick up a pencil and write anything coherent. I was immediately sent to A&E. Whilst sitting in the waiting room, before even being diagnosed, my trusty friend Google told me that I might have Guillain Barre Syndrome, a rare condition where the body's immune system attacks the nerves. And so I did. Less than 48 hours later I was paralysed from the neck down and in ICU, hours away from being tubed and ventilated. Listening to desperate relatives crying around me; realising how quickly and suddenly death could come.

I recovered. I learnt to walk (yet) again. I went back to work after 6 months. I tried to get back to my normal conservative life pre-illness. In hindsight it took me longer than I thought to fully recover - probably around 18 months. And then COVID hit. Life changed and we muddled through tackling the pandemic situation as best we could. But when it started to pass, I remembered my feelings from the ICU and realised that I didn't want to go back to my 'I will live for a long time so I'm not going to think about IT' mentality. I wanted to really explore life and try new things. I guess I would have realised sooner had COVID not happened, but by September 2021 I'd made the decision to quit my safe job in the city and do something else. And to explore the world, slowly.